{laughing out loud at inappropriate moments in the office}

I was going over a contract for a show Roger and I are doing in November at a university that shall remain nameless, and came to this:

Hospitality

Purchaser will provide the following at no cost to Artist
* Private backstage area
* On-campus promotion
* Green Room Hostility

Wow! Green Room Hostility, for FREE! You can't make this stuff up. Well, you could, but then it wouldn't be very funny. And this, my friends, is funny.